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Medical terms for Beginners :

 

Adenoma -

What you say to your mother when you don't know the answer

Aerobe -

A garment worn around the house

Alimentary -

What Holmes said to Watson

Anally -

Occurring yearly

Antepartum -

When your father's sister goes home

Anti-Body -

Against everyone

Artery -

The study of paintings

Atonic -

Goes with your gin

Bacteria -

The back door of a cafeteria

Bandages -

The Rolling Stones

Barium -

What doctors do when patients die

Benign -

What an eight-year-old wants to be

Bolus -

What psychoanalysts talk

Botulism -

Tendency to make mistakes

Bowel -

A letter like a, e, i, o, or u

Buccal -

Does up your belt

Bullae -

A tough guy

Bunion -

Paul's surname

Caesarean Section -

A neighborhood in Rome

Cardiology -

Advanced study of poker playing

Carpal -

Someone you drive to work with

Castrate -

Market price for setting a fracture

Catarrh -

Stringed Instrument

Cat Scan -

Searching for kitty

Cauterize -

Made eye contact with Hillary

Chiropractor -

An Egyptian doctor

Colic -

A kind of sheep dog

Coma -

A punctuation mark

Congenital -

Friendly

Coronary -

Domesticated yellow bird

Cortisone -

The local courthouse

Cystogram -

A cable sent to your sister

D & C -

Where the White House is

Diarrhea -

Journal of daily events.

Dilate -

To live a long time

Enema -

Not a friend

Enteritis -

A penchant for burglary

ER -

The things on your head that you hear with

Fester -

Quicker

Fibula -

Small lie

Ganglia -

A very tall thin person

Genes -

Blue denim slacks

Genital -

Not Jewish

Genotype -

The kind of girl Gino likes

G.I. Series -

A soldier ball game

Grippe -

Suit case

Hangnail -

Coat hook

Hemorrhoid -

A male From outer space

Herpes -

What women do in the Ladies Room

High Colonic -

Jewish Religious holiday

Hippocampus -

A medical school where even a hippo can pass

Hormones -

What a prostitute does when she doesn't get paid

ICU -

Peek-a-boo

Impotent -

Distinguished, well-known

Inpatient -

Tired of waiting

Intern -

One after another

Intestine -

Currently taking an exam

Labor Pain -

Getting hurt at work

Mammogram -

A telegram to your Mama.

Medical Staff -

A doctor's cane

Minor Operation -

Coal digging

Morbid -

A higher offer

Nitrates -

Cheaper than day rates

Node -

Was aware of

Organ transplant -

What you do to your piana when you move

Organic -

Organ repairman

Outpatient -

A person who fainted

Paralyze -

Two far-fetched stories

Pathological -

A reasonable way to go

Pap Smear -

A fatherhood test

Pelvis -

Elvis Presley's cousin

Pharmacist -

Person who makes a living dealing in agriculture

Placenta -

Christmas flower

Plaster cast -

The drunk roadies backstage at a rock concert

Post-operative -

A letter carrier

Prostate -

Flat on your back

Protein -

In favor of young people

Recovery Room -

A place to do upholstery

Rectum -

Damn near killed 'em

Red blood count -

Dracula

Rheumatic -

Amorous

Saline -

Where you go on your boyfriend's boat

Scar -

Rolled tobacco leaf

Secretion -

Hiding something

Seizure -

Roman Emperor

Serology -

Study of english knighthood

Sterile solution -

Not using the elevator during a fire

Surgery -

A reason to get an uninterruptible power supply

Tablet -

A small table

Terminal Illness -

D.I.A.
Getting sick at the airport

Tibia -

Country in North Africa

Triple bypass -

Better than a quarterback sneak

Tumor -

More than one

Ultrasound -

A loud noise

Urine -

Opposite of you're out

Varicose -

Nearby

Vein -

Conceited

Weak -

Seven days