Psychiatry Jokes:
Anyone
who goes to a psychiatrist ought to have his head examined.
Patient:
Doctor, I keep thinking that I'm a deck of cards!
Psychiatrist: Sit over there and I'll deal with you later.
Patient: Doctor, I feel like a bridge...
Psychiatrist: What's come over you?
Patient: Two trucks, five cars...
Patient: Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a dustbin.
Psychiatrist: Don't talk such rubbish.
Patient: Doctor, people tell me I'm a wheelbarrow.
Psychiatrist: Don't let people push you around.
Patient: Doctor, I have a split personality.
Psychiatrist: Nurse, bring in another chair.
Psychiatrist: What is your problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I was an egg!
Psychiatrist: What is wrong with your brother?
Sister: He thinks he's a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long has be been acting like a chicken?
Sister: Three years. We would have come in sooner, but we needed the eggs.
Two
psychiatrists pass in the hall. The first says, "Hello." The other
thinks, "I wonder what he meant by that."
Psychiatrists
say that 1 out of every 4 people are mentally ill... Check 3 friends, if they're
okay, you're it.
Patient:
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a curtain.
Psychiatrist: Pull yourself together!
Patient:
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a billiard ball.
Psychiatrist: Get to the end of the queue.
Patient:
Doctor, I keep thinking I'm invisible.
Psychiatrist: Who said that?
