Things you don't want to hear when you are on the Operating table:

1    Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.

2    Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop

3    "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness"

4    Spot! Spot! Comeback with that! Bad Dog!

5    Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that?

6    Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie

7    Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. -

8    Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before?

9    Damn, there go the lights again...

10    "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Hell, the guy's got two of'em.

11    Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens!

12    ...and could you stop that thing from beating; it's throwing my concentration off

13    what do mean he wasn't in for a sex change...!

14    Anyone see where I left that scalpel?

15    I hope his family won't miss him

16    "And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape."

17    Damn! Page 47 of the manual is missing!

19    This patient has already had some kids, am I correct?

20    Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?

21    Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.

22    What do you mean "You want a divorce"!

23    She's gonna blow! Everyone take cover!!!

24    FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out!

25    We're out of anesthetics, so we're gonna improvise.

26    I hope you know his next of kin.

27    I gotta pee.

28    What'n hell's that thing?

29    What happens when you pull on this?

30    "In-a-gadda-da-vida, bay-beh!"

31    I learned this trick in Vietnam!

32    This might sting a little....

33    Doctor, for the last time, the patient's kidneys are not talking to you.
No, you have not offended them....

34    Attention: Will the person who parked their SUV in Operating Room Four kindly get it out of the way?

35    They're waiting in the OR, Dr. Frankenstein.

36    OOPS!

37    How do I put this back?

38    All right, who farted?

39    If you don't have type A+, pick anything. He'll never know the difference.

40    "I saw this in a movie once."

41    Eww...blood. (Kudos to the Simpsons)

42    Taps

43    Sterile, schmerile, the floor's clean, right?

44    That's cool. Now can you make the leg twitch?

45    I hate it when they're missing something.

46    Dibs on his Camaro.

47    What does it mean when the little line goes flat?

48    I got my medical degree from Sally Struthers.

49    What's that annoying beeping?

50    Clear! Oh no! Its backwards!

51    This is a lot different than my vet school class.

52    The leg bone's connected to the, thigh bone, the thigh bone's connected to the, red thing.

53    "Who says he needs more morphine?"

54    Hey! Somebody get that parakeet outta here!

55    "Doctor, removing his colon was NOT part of the operation."

56    Screw suction, we need a Vacuum cleaner!