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The closure of the Mental illnesses club:

"Announcement: the mental-disease-of-the-month club is being disbanded immediately. The reasons being:

During dipsomania month, the club party spent 10 times its budget on refreshments.

During kleptomania month, all of the club furnishings were removed, and (as aforementioned) the budget was already spent and gone.

During megalomania month, the club organization broke down due to having sixteen claimants to being Club President, etc.

During multiple personality month, our club roster roughly tripled in size with no increase in dues.

During paranoia month, the inflated roster dropped to zero as each member changed his or her mailing address and left no forwarding address for the club.

You members were obviously out to ruin us; it's all clear now. It took all our remaining personal savings to track you all down. Therefore, here is your last installment: clinical depression. Have a nice day."