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Nurse Jokes:

A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs. Right behind the patient is a nototiously hard-of-hearing nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Miss Jones, I said 'Prick his boil!'"

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?
She gave herself a tonsilectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift

Four nurses all decided to play a joke on the doctor they worked for, whom they all felt was an arrogant jerk. Later in the day, they all got together on break and discussed what they had done to the doctor.
The first nurse said, "I stuffed cotton in his stethoscope so he couldn't hear."
The second nurse said, "I let the mercury out of his thermometers and painted them all to read 106 degrees."
The third nurse said, "Well, I did worse than that. I poked holes in all of the condoms that he keeps in his desk drawer."
The fourth nurse fainted.

Q. What do you call a nurse with a brain.
A. Pregnant.