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Psychiatry Jokes - 2 :

A man calls the psychiatrist at a mental hospital and asks who's in room 24.
"Nobody" comes the reply.
"Good" says the man, "I must have escaped."

Neurotics build castles in the air.

Psychotics live in them.

Psychiatrists are the people who collect the rent.

Suggestion for the Automated Switchboard of a Psychiatric Hospital.

Thank you for calling.

If you are obsessive-compulsive, press '1' repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, ask someone else to press '2'.

If you have multiple personalities, press '3', '4', '5' and '6'.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want; just stay on the line and we will trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are depressed, it doesn't matter which number you press, we won't answer your call anyway.

( If you are a GP, forget about referring a patient because there aren't any beds. )